Do Women Really Judge Men by Their First Move?
Women aren’t too scared to approach; they are biologically wired to evaluate your approach. Understanding the “female signals, male approaches” dynamic turns the pressure off and the attraction on.
A reader recently questioned whether women genuinely judge men based on their approach, or if they are simply too afraid to initiate contact themselves. The reality is rooted in reproductive theory and the sexual marketplace, not fear or ego.
The Biological Imperative
Throughout the animal kingdom, females await the male approach to assess his reproductive fitness. Human behavior is no exception. Women bear significantly higher reproductive costs—carrying a child for nine months and nursing—making them the high-investing sex. Consequently, they must be the choosier sex. They don’t approach because they don’t need to; the sexual marketplace dictates that men demonstrate interest first.
The Instinctive Dance
Contrary to popular belief, the interaction is rarely initiated solely by the man. Women instinctively signal their availability, making men roughly 8.5 times more likely to approach a signaler than a woman who hasn’t signaled. Both parties are often unconscious of this exchange until the man starts walking. The woman made the first move by inviting the approach; the man simply answered the call.
The Approach as a Diagnostic Tool
When a man approaches, he provides immediate data. Women evaluate:
- Body language: The walk and opening stance.
- Vocal tone: The confidence in his voice.
- Social calibration: How he handles the initial tension, eye contact, and smile.
An unattractive approach triggers a biological “shut down” of interest, while an attractive one excites her. A man who stands on the sidelines never enters this evaluation. If he doesn’t approach, she doesn’t fear rejection; she assumes he is uninterested and moves on to other suitors.
Addressing the “High-Investing Man”
Some men argue that because they are high-investing “Dads” rather than low-investing “Cads,” women should approach them. However, selection mechanics work on a network scale. A woman cannot know a man is high-investing until he enters the ring. You must signal your intent to be vetted.
The Verdict on Honesty
When women say they are attracted to men who approach, they are not lying. They are expressing a fundamental preference for assertive action within the established courtship structure. It is not a woman’s role to take the physical risk of pursuit; it is her role to invite, evaluate, and choose.
Conclusion
The pressure to approach is not a burden but a privilege. It is the mechanism by which you activate seduction. Instead of waiting for women to change millions of years of biological programming, embrace the masculine role. Make the approach, risk the evaluation, and provide the stimulation she is biologically waiting to judge.
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