The NUT Model: Why We Trust Some Strangers and Fear Others
Ever get a sudden gut feeling about someone? It’s your subconscious running the NUT model: Need, Utility, and Threat.
This psychological framework explains our instant judgment of strangers. Analyzing hundreds of stories from platforms like Reddit’s /r/LetsNotMeet reveals three core factors. First is Need: how much someone seems to want something from you. High need—like a guy desperately chasing a classmate—creates discomfort. Second is Utility: what value they offer. An information desk worker offers high utility; a random stranger with no purpose offers low utility. Third is Threat: the perceived danger. A “huge, husky” man isn’t inherently a threat if his eyes are kind, proving threat is behavioral, not just physical.
The model clarifies complex scenarios. In one story, a girl lost in a bad neighborhood was guided by a “Texan angel” who offered help (high utility) with no ulterior motive (low need) and a safe demeanor (low threat). Conversely, a creepy gas station attendant gave nonsensical directions, lowering his utility and increasing suspicion of his hidden need and threat. Even a woman in danger used NUT to her advantage. Surrounded by men in Baltimore, she claimed to have just shot her boyfriend. Her threat skyrocketed, her utility dropped to zero, and her apparent need for help made her a liability. The men scattered.
To be the trustworthy guy rather than the creep, be a nUt: Low need, high utility, low threat. Be desireless and cool, show less need than she does, and offer value she actually values. Keep your approach low-threat by respecting context and boundaries. By mastering NUT, you dismantle the “creep” label and build instant, genuine trust.
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